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    « Take Note, Punk Ass Surrender Monkeys, Do Take Note | Main | An Effective Ice Sculpture »

    June 05, 2008



    JB, speaking as a long-time herpetologist...those maps are 110% bullsh!t.

    As you quite properly noted, vegetation & habitat are critical. Even so, the climate of the southern US is far too harsh for the Burm in all but a few patchy spots of that vast stretch. And by "harsh," I mean anyplace that gets a hard freeze for more than a few days a year.

    Burms could (and have) propagated in the subtropical areas of the Florida peninsula...Maybe a few oatches of Louisiana. That's it.

    Many people don't realize that there is a subspecies of Boa constrictor native to Mexico, it's range ends just south of the US...But consider that the Mexican boa's max size is 6-7 feet, it is a dwarf race compared to its well-heated, fed, and watered cousins around the Amazon.

    If there was some dramatic climate shift, then maybe the range of the Mexican boa cd push north into the US...SFW?

    As for your gator/python theory, come on! Since when does a big gator wolf down JUST THE HEAD of a snake for a meal? Here's the truth, take it from an old herper:

    1--Snake battles gator sometime in mid-morning, kills it.

    2--Snake tries to eat gator, it is A MASSIVE MEAL, but it just manages.

    3--Snake, exhausted from fight and gorging, seeks out hiding place. It is out in the open. Did you know even giant snakes with huge meals in them are notoriously lethargic, and vulnerable to predators?

    4--Snake is close to immobilized by huge meal, stops to rest. Remember that sun? JB, I know you've felt that FL sun in an open area on a hot day. Now imagine it is a 100 lb snake with a 70 lb alligator inside it.

    5--Snake dies. Sun continues to bake it.

    6--Gator putrefies inside snake, gases finally burst open snake at point where gator is "sharpest" on the inside. Check out the photo.

    Thus endeth the mystery.


    Okay, okay. I hear you. But, my man: the head was gone gone.

    Gone gone!

    Where the hell is the snakes head? I'll tell you where it is; the damn things been chomped!

    By the King of the Swamp!

    That's my story and I'm sticking with it. Remember, everything that you recount happens under my theory too. The sapsucker just happens to be headless *before* it explodes.

    Can you tell that I get much more psychic satisfaction from my version? Sure you can.

    The comments to this entry are closed.

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